The Sweet Life by Dulce Candy Ruiz

Author:Dulce Candy Ruiz [Ruiz, Dulce Candy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2015-07-13T07:00:00+00:00

Fake It Till You Make It

Fun fact: Simply changing your body language can make you appear confident even if you’re not. Because I’m four foot nine, I’ve always had a tiny (ha!) bit of a Napoleon complex. My dad must have anticipated a tough road ahead for me because when I was in junior high school, he taught me the importance of posture. Pulling my shoulders back, tilting my chin upward, and holding my head up high are great ways to fake the appearance of unshakable confidence. I followed his advice and miraculously never got bullied. I noticed that the kids who got called names or, even worse, shoved into lockers kept their heads down, their eyes cast to the ground, and their shoulders scrunched forward. They looked like victims, as though they were expecting to be messed with. This was my first lesson in the importance of body language. Though I didn’t have high self-esteem during junior high and high school, I’d apparently fooled everyone else into thinking that I did.

To me, body language is like a costume—a way to present yourself to others that’s easily changeable. The body language that you adopt says a lot about you, especially when you meet someone for the first time. The way you move is an indicator of the energy you feel, and conversely, sometimes changing your movements can influence your mental state, too. When I first walked into my fashion marketing class at the Art Institute, my instinct was to make a beeline for the back of the lecture hall. I hadn’t been in school in a long time, and even in high school, I felt most at home fading into the background. As I made my way through the classroom’s double doors, I saw the faces and heard the voices of my old army comrades who said they were sure I wouldn’t be able to make it in the civilian world. I needed to prove them wrong. So instead of hiding in the back, I remembered what my father had taught me. I walked to the front row and sat down. I challenged myself to speak up that day, and what do you know? My classmates perceived me as confident and knowledgeable. They even asked for my advice on projects and ran their ideas by me. For the first time, I actually felt smart in school—as if I had something valuable to contribute—and all I’d had to do was pick a different seat and raise my hand a few times. The power of body language indeed!

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